i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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