He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
