drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
