do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
