her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
