i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
