Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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