she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize