:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
