She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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