yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
