i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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