I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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