I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
