Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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