i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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