New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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