the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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