I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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