my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
