I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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