And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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