So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
