he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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