He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
