Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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