it's too hot outside to masturbate.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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