We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
