The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
