I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
