I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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