I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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