Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
