He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
