What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
