she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize