You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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