how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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