wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
