I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
