wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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