would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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