Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
