i would punch a child for taco bell
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
