Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
