no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
