I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
