yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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