I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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