...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
did i just pee glitter
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
