is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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