hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
