In America we eat man semen.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
