after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
