I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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