There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
