Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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