Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
