The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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