I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I lost the right to judge tonight
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
